You crossed the line this time, Gentoo. I stuck with you through the tough times, even through this humiliation. But when you specifically tell me to do something that renders my computer completely useless, that warrants a big, sloppy, kiss of death. I might be able to recover from this latest disaster but why should I have to put up with it?
The only question that remains is whether there is another Linux distribution that supports x86_64 as well as Gentoo. Maybe I should just run in a pure 32-bit mode. Stuff is better supported for x86_32 anyway.